


Perilous Entertainment

by firewolfsg



Category: Saiunkoku Monogatari
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-28
Updated: 2010-03-28
Packaged: 2017-10-08 09:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/75156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewolfsg/pseuds/firewolfsg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Challenge response (Week 27 - Rise, 300 words max. Won First place): Shuuei likes teasing Kouyuu, but he never wanted to push Kouyuu quite that far</p><p>And</p><p>The muse's Extended Edition</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Original Challenge Response

It was well known that Ran Shuuei delighted in teasing Li Kouyuu just to get an entertaining rise out of him. However, there was one incident which made him actually fear for his life. And it had seemed grossly unfair since he was truly an innocent bystander that time.

It had all started with Seiran confiscating a rather 'interesting' collection of porn. Normally, he wouldn't have bothered with his men's amusements. However, he couldn't ignore this.

Seiran had found Ryuuki with Shuuei then, so the Emperor had the 'pleasure' of perusing with them several pages of graphic sex between his Twin Flowers. The art was beautiful. However, they agreed that further production of similar books needed to be stopped.

Alas, Kouyuu had chosen that very moment to arrive, prompting Ryuuki to quickly and furtively hide the incriminating book in his pile of paperwork. Unfortunately, this was Ryuuki's finished pile of reports that Kouyuu was due to review, and the scholar had immediately grabbed it to do just that.

The men had only a few seconds to exchange horrified looks before Kouyuu noticed their agitation. And after that, none dared to leave for fear of making the situation worse if they left Kouyuu to discover the book on his own.

The brothers would later swear that a virtual thunder cloud appeared over Kouyuu's head when he finally reached the porn. And as much as they liked Shuuei, they quickly abandoned the whimpering man when Kouyuu started to stalk towards him.

Fortunately, Kouyuu had a sense of humour after all and it seemed he'd been quite inspired. Still, Shuuei made sure to visit the artist and strongly 'discourage' further similar publications. He also purchased the man's remaining stock. After all, his exclusive privilege had been terrifyingly achieved, and Shuuei refused to share.

~owari~

Thanks for reading. Cheers, firewolf


	2. The Extended Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The muse bugged me 'cause she felt 300 words were not enough. This was the result. ;)

"And you found this where?" Shuuei asked his soon to be fellow General.

"In the barracks." Seiran grumbled unhappily, though he rather significantly didn't refrain from continuing his fascinated examination of his find over Ryuuki's shoulder. "I never bothered with the men's amusements before, but I couldn't ignore this.

"We probably have no way of knowing how long similar books have been published."

Ryuuki lifted the book to turn it sideways for them to better appreciate the next drawing. "The artist is very—talented." He blushed.

Shuuei turned his eyes back to study the beautiful yet scandalous drawings of himself with Kouyuu. He gulped. He was a bit surprised he wasn't angry. However, if he was honest with himself, the pictures were only a stark reflection of his secret wants and desires.

"Well, now we know there are others in the kingdom who are just as impatient with you as we are." Seiran grinned at Shuuei while Ryuuki flipped the pages of this hefty collection of pornographic art on his Twin Flowers.

Shuuei went quite red with the teasing. "Am I that obvious?" He asked quietly.

"Maybe more obvious than you realised…" Ryuuki told him distractedly. "Shuurei was grumbling to me the other day that you should just kiss Kouyuu already, instead of riling him up and making him angry with you."

"But it's fun to tease him." Shuuei protested weakly.

"Because then Kouyuu's full attention is on you and not half on his first love of books and reports?" Seiran teased him knowingly.

"Surely there's an easier path of courtship?" Ryuuki looked up at Shuuei sympathetically while he flipped the page. For a minute there though, he wondered why Shuuei's countenance had suddenly gone so pale for the suggestion.

"How long do you actually believe I will live if I did that to Kouyuu?" Shuuei's finger stabbed at the page Ryuuki had settled on when he made his statement.

The three men studied the sequence of pictures critically and collectively winced. "This—really isn't what I meant." Ryuuki ventured timidly. "Still, beautiful as most of the art is. This is—very disrespectful of My Twin Flowers."

"You think?" Shuuei asked sardonically though he didn't avert his eyes from the art. "It would diminish our authority and power if we allowed any more similar books to be published."

"It's a pity we can't do anything about the books already in circulation without drawing attention to them." Seiran sighed wryly.

"On the other hand, the men were discrete to have kept something like this from me for—how ever long these books have been in publication."

"Since you're the joint subject of these books, I'm not surprised at all." Seiran told Shuuei honestly. "Any soldier who owned a copy probably feared for their lives whenever you visited the barracks. Certainly no one dared claim ownership of this book when I accidentally discovered it."

"Ownership of what book?" Kouyuu's sudden flushed face arrival at the door to the Emperor's office nearly made the three men jump. "And Ryuuki, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop moving your office every other day."

"But I--" The emperor clutched at the book fearfully and more than a bit wild eyed for the thought that Kouyuu had just caught them red-handed.

"Ahh, it was just a silly book of poetry, and other love sick ditties Seiran found in the barracks." Shuuei quickly moved from his position behind their emperor to stand in front of Ryuuki's desk. "You know how it is with manly soldiers. No one would dare claim to be the owner of such a romantic little thing."

Kouyuu snorted as he strode into the room. "I hope you've been hard at work while waiting for me and not perusing that waste of time."

Behind Shuuei's strategically concealing body, Ryuuki quickly closed the scandalous book and stuffed it into the middle of the nearest pile of paperwork. "Of course, Kouyuu dono, We have not been idle at all."

"Good." Kouyuu stepped around Shuuei to reach Ryuuki's desk. "This is the usual pile, right?"

The Emperor actually blanched when his eyes went from one pile of papers to the next and noted that the book of Twin Flowers porn was indeed in the middle of the pile of finished reports he had set aside for Kouyuu to check. "Er—Kouyuu dono--"

"What? You're not happy about the work you completed this time?" Kouyuu frowned unhappily at Ryuuki while he snatched up the pile of books and papers. "You've been doing an adequate job of it for years now. You should show more confidence."

"Er?!" Ryuuki gave Seiran and Shuuei a frantic look.

"Er, Kouyuu could I give you a hand with--" Shuuei stopped short with Kouyuu's glare.

"I am not so weak as to need help carrying such a small stack of reports, Shuuei." Kouyuu stalked towards his usual seat with his burden, completely oblivious of the almost comical scene of panic occurring behind him as Ryuuki's silent gestures and wild eyed glances confirmed everyone's fears that the aqua haired scholar did indeed have *the* book in his possession.

By the time Kouyuu turned around, the men had composed themselves again, but they didn't fool him one bit. "Is something wrong? You're all looking quite pale."

A rather incoherent babble of denial from the three men greeted his words, making Kouyuu roll his eyes at them before settling into his seat to start on the pile of work. He was in no temper to worry over their agitation right now. If it was important, Kouyuu figured he'd find out what the matter was sooner or later.

While all three men stayed put uncomfortably, it could not be said they didn't each eye the door longingly. Ryuuki had the consideration that they were in His office. He couldn't flee from his own office, unless he wanted to face a three hour lecture from Shuurei later regarding childish behaviour not worthy of an Emperor, because he knew that as a member of the Censorate who eventually uncovered all secrets, she would hear of it.

Seiran didn't dare leave. He was, after all, the one who discovered the book and brought it to the Emperor's office in the first place. Plus the most incriminating thing he could do right now was to leave before Kouyuu discovered the book.

Shuuei was experiencing an extended flash back of his entire life till this moment. He knew better than to leave and make Kouyuu look for him. There were two moments Kouyuu never got lost; when he was drunk and when he had a great sense of urgency about some matter regarding life and death. Shuuei thought hunting him down to kill him would figure into the latter category of Kouyuu's navigational abilities. Then again—maybe, just maybe if he made it easy for Kouyuu to confront him, the man might be merciful and it wouldn't hurt so badly.... Shuuei also wondered how many people would attend his funeral.

So the three men stayed in the tension filled office while Kouyuu quietly went through the quickly diminishing pile of reports. The aqua haired scholar did occasionally throw them suspicious looks for their uncomfortable silence, but for the most part didn't say anything to them either.

They knew the exact moment Kouyuu finally came across the book of Twin Flowers pornography because his face flushed bright red and he dropped his writing brush. Then for the next several minutes there was no other sound in the Emperor's office apart from the gentle rustle of paper as the aqua haired scholar slowly flipped through the numerous pages of art. The brothers would later swear that a virtual thunder cloud grew over Kouyuu's head as he turned the pages. Shuuei on his part was sweating up a storm.

Now the three men were very aware that Li Kouyuu was not a swordsmen, neither was he a fighter. But when he finally reached the last page of the book and looked up, his black expression told them that they would be far safer dealing with twenty hungry tigers than him right now.

It was just a tiny flicker in the aqua haired scholar's eyes which told Ryuuki and Seiran they had his permission to leave. And as much as they liked Shuuei, the two men obeyed the suggestion and fled the office as if they had a thousand devils on their tail, leaving the whimpering man alone with Kouyuu.

Shuuei was practically frozen with fear when Kouyuu finally rose from his cushion to stalk towards where he was seated. But gods damn it; his body was reacting to Kouyuu's entire countenance which had taken the form of a dangerous creature because the man was damn sexy when he was angry. It was one of the reasons why Shuuei liked teasing Kouyuu enough to get a rise out of him. Now, however, he was terrifying.

"There was *no* book of poetry." Kouyuu purred softly as he glided closer.

Shuuei swallowed loud enough to be heard before he could find the voice to speak. "No, no poetry book."

"So the three of you were looking through that—'interesting' art book about us before I arrived?" Kouyuu's fingers curled around the fabric of the collar of Shuuei's court robes.

"Y--yes." Shuuei couldn't remember ever being this close to Kouyuu before. And now, he could indeed see the individual strands of lavender, which turned Kouyuu's normally grey eyes a rather pretty violet when he was angry.

"Did you enjoy the art work?" Kouyuu pulled Shuuei up slightly from his seat so that they were nearly nose to nose.

For a moment there, Shuuei thought to deny his fascination with the work, claim that he was just an innocent bystander, and convince Kouyuu that the subject disgusted him and that he was really as upset and angry as his fellow Twin Flower. However, Shuuei also knew he couldn't say these words with any conviction. So he chose honesty instead.

"I loved it. I—it was beautiful."

"Truly? It didn't—disgust you?"

"Not at all." Shuuei admitted wistfully.

"Good." And with that last word, Kouyuu yanked his fellow Twin Flower into a mind melting kiss.

*~*~*~*

Outside the Emperor's office, Ryuuki and Seiran heaved a huge sigh of relief for the noises they could now discern from behind the closed doors. "Well, it was about time they took that step in their relationship."

"Kouyuu dono has a sense of humour after all." Ryuuki laughed nervously. "But—they wouldn't—do 'it' on my desk, would they?"

Seiran leaned an ear closer to the door and blushed. "I don't know. I think—the book has quite—inspired Kouyuu."

"But—but—*My* desk! The unfinished paperwork--!" Ryuuki's face went flaming red. "Surely Kouyuu won't--?!"

Seiran gave his little brother a hapless look. "There were worst locations in the book."

"But--! What could be worse than in the Emperor's office and on the Emperor's desk?!" Ryuuki wailed.

"Erm? Reishin sama's desk when he was still Secretary of the Department of Civil Affairs?"

Ryuuki couldn't argue with that.

*~*~*~*

They didn't do it on the paperwork. That was the only mercy Shuuei could give his Emperor, because Kouyuu had been really motivated by that naughty book. And the aqua haired scholar took it with him too when he finally sauntered out of the Emperor's office, leaving Shuuei lying on the Emperor's desk and looking thoroughly debauched, dishevelled, and still quite stunned over his unexpected good fortune. Even after Ryuuki and Seiran cautiously returned to pick up and reorganize the Emperor's scattered paperwork, the soon to be restored General just couldn't raise the effort to move nor wipe the silly grin off his face despite Ryuuki's sour looks and wails of distress over the state of his desk.

The Emperor, of course, refused to use his desk again until the cleaning staff scrubbed it at least five times. Kouyuu found this knowledge quite useful. For whenever Ryuuki started to drift off in day dreams about Shuurei, all he had to do was give the desk a sly look and the Emperor would start blushing and steadfastly concentrating on his paperwork again, just to get his mind off the memory of how his Twin Flowers had consummated their relationship on said desk.

Shuuei did not forget the artist. The man had known immediately what Shuuei wanted to talk about when the fully armoured military man suddenly appeared at his shop, and the artist had honestly feared for his life. To his surprise and relief though, Shuuei had graciously thanked him for the production of the book, and even purchased his entire remaining stock of books on the Twin Flowers.

However, Ran Shuuei also politely suggested that the man not draw pictures of the Emperor's Twin Flowers ever again, and asked him to spread the word among his cohorts. Since the General had drawn his sword and was idly examining the workmanship of the deadly blade while he said this, it made the artist suddenly aware that he was getting off very lightly for this brief scandalous bit of fun.

So the man swore he'd spread the word and to never draw another pornographic piece about the two men ever again. For with this very personal visit from one of the Emperor's Twin Flowers, the artist understood that his life really was at stake here. After all, it was very apparent to him now that when it came to Li Kouyuu, Ran Shuuei clearly did not share.

Still, there were some books which were already in circulation. So when word eventually spread that the Emperor's Twin Flowers finally took the next step in their relationship, and that Ran Shogun 'politely' asked all artists to cease and desist drawing the Twin Flowers in 'suggestive' poses, the black market value of these rare books exploded. Owners of the said books also realised they had to be doubly careful about being discovered by friends of the Twin Flowers too, because these men and women showed no mercy when confiscating the scandalous materials. And Shi Seiran and Rou Ensei especially showed rather particular talents for hunting down the owners in their respective 'departments' and appropriating the disreputable collections. Whether or not they actually destroyed or gave the impounded books to the Twin Flowers, however, was another matter altogether.

Rumour had it that Jyuusan Hime and Yuri Hime had furtively amassed a small library of such pornography. They of course refused to confirm or deny the stories about the alleged collection. For Jyuusan knew that as long as he didn't know for sure, Ran Shuuei would never ask since he was too embarrassed to talk to his little sister about anything that had to do with his sex life. And similarly, Kouyuu didn't want to discuss sex with his mother. It was whispered that their friends were very glad for this fact.

Shuuei did extract one promise from his sister though. That if such a collection did exist, that their elder brothers would never see them. Kouyuu did the same with his mother with regards to his father. So no matter how curious the Ran Triplets and Kou Reishin were about the rumoured books, they never got a chance to see them.

Among all the rumours that abound the Twin Flowers, two things could be confirmed. One, that Li Kouyuu had been awfully cheerful of late. And two, that Ran Shuuei was now observed to have an almost perpetual grin on his face. Neither, however, was willing to give any credibility to the rumour that the original book which brought them together had a place of honour on their bedside table.

~owari~

Thanks for reading. Cheers, firewolf


End file.
